The Things I Miss
by R.C. Cummings
Summary: A letter is accidently mailed to JJ while Emily is still presumed dead.


"Hey JJ..." Pen yelled coming up to her desk in a trot. "Who do you know in Spain?"

JJ looked up at the woman totally puzzled. Then a thought ran through her mind and she had to cover fast. "Oh...I think my uncle Martin and his wife were going to go this year. I told them if they did to send me a post card but aunt Louise tends to get worded so I guess they sent a letter instead." She said with the best media liaison face she had ever pulled off even when she was one.

"Cool...let me know if there's any good parts."

"Like what? These people are in their sixties and wear plaid." JJ said with a disgusted face then laughed.

"Well I plan on being just as active in all areas in my sixties. And just what is wrong with plaid… other than wearing it with socks and sandals?"

"That is exactly what I'm saying." JJ laughed as Pen gave an "oh" face and shook her head and made another scrunched up face.

"Okay...my lovely you are on your own then." She said as she left in a huff.

JJ looked at the letter and recognized the handwriting immanently. She was so glad that Pen hadn't looked any closer than she did for it was Emily's. This she knew even before she opened the envelope. She hugged it to her like she was hugging the woman herself. Then she took a short look around to make sure it was safe to open it.

 _My Darling Jennifer,_

She closed her eyes and took in a deep breath as the deep voice sounded the salutation in her head. How she missed that voice. The very voice that could make her heart beat out of time and yet she lived. She opened her eyes and did another short scan again before reading on.

 _I am forced to share a room with another tonight. The torturous nights alone with only memories to satisfy the ache in my longing is one thing, but to have another only mere steps away from me in the biding hours of love's call is unbearable, especially when it's not you. So, I've take pen to paper to write to you the things I miss. Even though I know you will never see this letter I believe it will at least help me to go through the process as though you will read every syllable. I can only hope that fate will have mercy on me someday and let my words reach your heart._

 _I sit here and reminisce about the many nights I would lay awake just listening to you breathing softly in your sleep while we were on cases. The sound just amazed me and flooded my heart with peace that you were there. I wonder what it would be like to hold you and now that I have I miss it._

 _I miss the warmth and the completeness I felt holding you. I miss the soft moans as I whispered in French love messages that I knew you didn't understand yet you enjoyed the way they sounded. I miss waking up to you counting my ribs but always loosing count when you made it to my breast and would lick your lips._

 _I really miss the way you looked at me after I had taken you to loves edge and you jumped off. That look of "You are the center of my world and no one else mattered..."_

 _God...I only saw it a few times but it's burned into the frames of my mind forever._

Jennifer noticed what looked to be a small water stain on the paper. She wondered if it was a tear.

 _If an exile death is the cost for those moments then it's worth the price._

 _I must go now my love for the light of day calls me again to the emptiness of not hearing your voice, smelling your scent, or seeing your beauty. But I have hope and I always have the memories of us._

 _I miss you Jennifer..._

JJ wiped the tears from her eyes and glanced around making sure no one was watching her. She folded the letter up and placed it in her jacket pocket for safe keeping as she started working on the files before her. She figured the person Emily was rooming with mailed the letter by mistake thinking they were doing her a favor. She smiled thinking Emily probably filled out an envelope and everything, knowing that she would have to carry the whole process through for it to work for her, everything that is except for actually mailing it.

She tried to concentrate on the files but Emily was filling her mind and the words of the letter seemed to caressing her body's senses in ways she could almost swear the woman was there in person touching her. She could picture Emily sitting and writing from the light of some window because she couldn't turn a light on. She knew how hard it was for the woman to sleep especially in new places. She remembered the first time they shared a room in Denver awakening to a wide-eyed Emily watching her sleeping.

"JJ..." was yelled as she shook the memory from her head and looked at the source of the noise.

"What?"

"Conference room in fifteen we have a case." Pen said looking at her concernedly.

"Okay I'll be there." She said as she straightened up the files on her desk and got up heading towards the restrooms.

Everyone was gathered in the meeting room, Hotch noticed except for one. "Where is JJ?" He asked impatiently.

"I'll go get her sir. I think she was heading to the bathroom the last time I saw her." She said leaving on a mission to find the missing agent. Her breath caught in her lungs as a moment of sorrow hit her when she found JJ standing in front of Emily's picture on the wall of fallen agents wiping tears away. She turned and left and came back into the room, "Sir I think you need to start without her. She can be briefed on the plane." He looked at the woman expecting more information as to why. "She is having a moment."

"A moment?" He asked confused.

"Yes sir… she is looking at Emily's picture." She said knowing they would all understand the meaning of her words. It had only been two months since the woman's death and they all gave each other "their moments" when grief hit knowing the process was unpredictable. Only Hotch knew the strain JJ was really going through... except he didn't.

"Let's get started then...Morgan you can bring her up to speed on the plane."

"That won't be necessary I'm here. Sorry I was late..." She said taking her seat. "There was a case that reminded me of her and I just had..." She paused and wiped the stray tear away, "I just missed her."

They all took a moment and shook their heads in understanding before starting to review the new case. But the team would never know the things she truly missed about Emily.

 **The is just a one shot. Thanks for reading.**


End file.
